


as long as you're with me

by enamuko



Series: FE Rarepair Week 2k19 [7]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: F/F, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 01:41:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20958344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enamuko/pseuds/enamuko
Summary: Panne wished to show Emmeryn the beauty of the world, and her freedom. And to share with her an important part of her past, no matter how painful it might be.





	as long as you're with me

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaand this wraps up rarepair week, a few days late but at least I got them all done lmao  
I'm not especially confident in this because it's been a LONG time since I played Awakening but HERE WE ARE
> 
> Written for Fire Emblem Rarepair week (albeit late)! Prompt is "Verdant".

The field stretched out farther than the eye could see, rolling in gentle hills and slopes, trees and flowers growing wherever they pleased.

The hallmarks of the man-spawn and their so-called civilization were nowhere to be found here— and Panne could almost feel at ease, for the first time in as long as she could remember.

“It’s just a bit further,” she said, turning to look over her shoulder to ensure her companion had not fallen behind; though her health improved with every passing day, Panne had to remind herself that she was still quite ill and such a long journey would be no doubt difficult on her… “How are you feeling?”

“I’m… Fine.”

The woman standing before her now was a far different woman from the woman who had inspired her to believe that not all humans were the monsters she believed them to be, and yet… She was not so different, at the heart of things.

Her memory was gone, and she struggled with speech, but her kind heart and generous nature had not been snuffed out by her injury or her illness.

“This place is… Beautiful.”

Emmeryn reached out for her hand, and Panne offered it, in case she needed to stabilize herself. She didn’t complain even when all Emmeryn did was squeeze her hand and tug her forward as though she were the one leading, rather than the one bein led, though.

The warmth of her hand was pleasant enough even without purpose.

“I thought you would enjoy this place.”

They walked down the gentle slopes, hand in hand. Panne had no particular destination in mind aside from the valley itself. Nothing remained in this place, after all; it had been years since anyone had lived there. But she thought that the fresh air and peaceful nature of the place might do the ailing woman good.

She could not return to the city with her family, after all; there would be far too many questions that no one could answer, and the stress of it would do her condition no good. Panne was certain Chrom and Lissa had been reluctant to see her off, even as they have been wishing them well on their journey.

She could not blame them, of course. Parting with one’s family so soon after having them returned to you… She couldn’t imagine many things that sounded more painful.

It sparked a particular determination in her to make sure Emmeryn returned not only safely (that was a given; Panne would not let harm befall a companion of hers, not when she stood to be able to do something about it) but happier and healthier than when she left, although she had little idea of how long it would be before they returned, or what they would do then…

Would Emmeryn stay with her? Would she want to remain with Chrom and the rest of her family, if Chrom could find a way without launching her back into the stressful life of royalty? Would she wish to settle down somewhere? Panne wasn’t even certain what  _ she  _ planned to do now that the war was over…

When they reached a dip in the landscape that flattened out for some time, Panne paused and lifted her head as if scenting the air. All she could smell was the same soft grass she could feel beneath her feet, the light florals of the wildflowers that dotted the landscape, and the sweetness of the fresh mountain air so far from the man-spawn’s cities and settlements that choked the air…

“We should stop here and rest for a while,” she said decisively.

Emmeryn never argued with her when she said such things, even though she often insisted that she was fine and did not need Panne to slow down on her account. And truthfully, she could have continued on, but…

Aside from Emmeryn needing to rest even when she insisted she was fine to carry on, Panne didn’t want to rush. There was nothing for them to be rushing  _ to _ or  _ from _ , after all. They had all the time in the world to sit and enjoy their surroundings and the peace that they brought…

Too long had Panne been travelling in the company of an army of man-spawn. Though she considered them her dear friends and the opportunity had brought her and Emmeryn together, she was glad to be away from them and back where she belonged; surrounded by nature with only the screaming cicadas in the far distance to keep her company…

That, and Emmeryn, of course.

They found a soft patch of grass to settle in, and Panne allowed herself to settle down and relax, stretching out on her side. A nap sounded pleasant. She preferred shorter rests throughout the day to the two of them being vulnerable during the night while they slept, particularly since they no longer had an entire army to take turns keeping watch and the seclusion meant that while there were fewer man-spawn threats, there were more nocturnal predators and the like…

Emmeryn removed her satchel as she sat down beside her, taking out a hunk of traveller’s bread and some cheese to nibble at while they rested. They had packed plentiful supplies for a long journey, but still she was conservative with them, even when Panne insisted that she had to eat to keep up her strength…

“Are we… Almost there?”

Panne cracked an eye open to look up at Emmeryn, then rolled over so that she was facing her even while she was still lying on her side and Emmeryn was sitting up.

“I didn’t have a destination in mind, particularly,” Panne replied, and then realized that wasn’t quite true.

There  _ was  _ somewhere she would like to bring her, but… She wasn’t sure if she was going to, or if she was even going to feel alright visiting such a place again…

Panne had put her past behind her, had moved on with her life, but there were scars that could never be erased no matter how many new friends she made and no matter what sort of family she found.

“I just wanted you to see how beautiful this place was,” Panne continued, taking comfort in the fact that even if she wasn’t telling Emmeryn the whole truth, she wasn’t lying, either.

Chrom wanted to keep Emmeryn close, for fear of her condition worsening, thinking she needed to be kept close at hand with the best doctors at his beck and call. She understood his fear, of course. He had lost her once, and if he did so again it would devastate him, particularly when he stood to be able to do something about it this time…

But she wasn’t feeble. Her memory was gone, but so was Robin’s, and she was more than well. Her speech was stilted and sometimes slurred, but the doctors who Chrom had consulted and sworn to secrecy had said that she healthy— certainly much healthier than a woman who had fallen from such a height  _ should _ be. If her injuries were the source of her difficulties, the doctors could find no evidence of it…

Panne had always thought that it might be as much in her mind as because of her health. The trauma of what had happened to her… It was nothing that a person’s mind should ever have to bear. Just like Robin’s lost memories had come from the trauma of Grima attempting to fuse their selves together…

“Thank you, Panne. It’s… Lovely.”

“It’s nothing to thank me for.” Then, before Emmeryn could say anything to the contrary, Panne stretched until she felt a comforting burn in her muscles and pulled her legs closer to her body. “While you eat, I’m going to take a nap… Then we will continue on.”

“Sleep well, Panne…”

Adept as she was at being able to fall asleep anywhere (useful for a taguel, useful for a soldier as well, when you didn’t know where you would be setting camp next or for how long on a particularly excruciating march, of which the Shepherds had endured many), Panne quickly found herself drifting off, and as she did she felt a gentle hand caressing her hair, softly petting her, and a soft voice humming under her breath…

“It isn’t much farther.”

Panne easily clambered across the rocks that littered the hill, and offered her hand for Emmeryn to help her up over several of the larger ones. Thankfully Emmeryn had chosen more sensible clothes for their journey than the robes and headdress she used to wear; Panne couldn’t imagine any amount of her help could get Emmeryn across the landscape if she were wearing something like that.

As they reached the crest of the hill, Panne sucked a breath in through her teeth. She had truly thought she was prepared, and she supposed she was, in a way…

Seeing it again felt like getting punched in the stomach, but she could look at it without wanting to flee, or being overcome by horrid memories to the point of freezing up.

That was certainly progress, as far as she was concerned.

“Panne…”

She almost startled at the sound of Emmeryn’s voice, and she was starting to think this had been a bad idea after all. If she was startling so easily at such a small thing, they would be vulnerable to attack…

“Is this…?”

“This is… My warren. Or what’s left of it.”

Just saying the words made something ache in her chest, but the feeling of Emmeryn’s hand in her own, giving it a gentle squeeze, made it at least a bit easier to deal with… It grounded her in the moment rather than allowing her to be launched back to what few memories she had from the days  _ before _ …

“Oh, Panne…”

The pain she heard in Emmeryn’s voice was the same she had heard the day she had helped to rescue her from her would-be assassins, the day Lucina had said was her fated day of death in her terrible future. They had thought that despite saving her that day, they had ultimately failed when she had jumped from the executioner’s peak, and yet here she was standing with her…

Maybe it was foolish of her, but it gave her a certain sense of hope. If Emmeryn had survived her certain death, perhaps it meant that she wasn’t as truly alone as she had always believed…

Perhaps that was the real reason she had brought Emmeryn to this place; with a woman who by all accounts should be dead by her side, it did truly feel like anything was possible…

“It happened a very long time ago,” Panne said, as she felt Emmeryn press against her side and rest her head against her shoulder. This was different from the Emmeryn she had known; or, at least, the Emmeryn she had been told about. She had always been a caring woman, from what she had seen and what she had been told, but as the Exalt she had been expected to be regal and untouchable and so many other foolish concepts the man-spawn imposed on their leaders for no reason Panne could comprehend…

It was no difference in her personality, she thought. It was just that now she was free of the burden of leadership. Free to simply be a woman…

It was why Panne understood, but did not necessarily agree with Chrom’s desire to keep her close. There were too many chances for her to get drawn back into that life. Chrom took to leadership well, and his actions during the war effort meant he was awarded much more freedom…

Emmeryn deserved that chance, too. Panne wanted to be able to give her that chance. And she was glad that she had been trusted enough to be given that chance…

“That doesn’t mean… It doesn’t hurt…”

She tensed up at that, and Emmeryn wrapped her arms around her fully, pressing her face between Panne’s shoulderblades. She felt the brush of lips on bare skin there as Emmeryn pressed a gentle kiss against her spine, and started humming again. Panne didn’t recognize the tune, except as something she had heard Emmeryn humming before, but she certainly recognized the gentleness and comfort in it…

She sighed, placed her hands over Emmeryn’s where they were overlapped on her stomach, and allowed herself to lean back into the touch. She had never been one to shy away from physical affection; humans seemed to have so many more rules about when it was and wasn’t okay to touch each other, as if it was too much bother to just  _ ask _ , but taguel had always been physically-minded beings…

“Let me show you you more.” She pulled away from Emmeryn, only so she could offer her a hand to help her down the slope. Here, there were more rocks, and the hills were steeper, making it difficult for Emmeryn to traverse but simple for Panne; it was, after all, the ideal environment for a taguel warren. Not appealing to predators, particularly humans…

Which made what had happened all the worse, but she tried not to think about it.

She wouldn’t take Emmeryn into the warren itself. She had been gone so long, she was surprised she had even remembered where it was, and the fact that it was even still recognizable was just as surprising; she was sure something would collapse if she were to try and actually go inside, with no one around to maintain it…

But she hadn’t brought her all this way not to at least show her  _ more _ of what had once been her home…

“Thank you, Panne…”

“Hm? What was that?” Panne was focusing more on getting Emmeryn down safely than on what she was saying; rather than let Emmeryn climb down an especially steep portion on her own, Panne put her hands on her waist and lifted her carefully, setting her back down on level ground in front of her.

“Thank you,” Emmeryn repeated. “For showing me… This. I know it must be painful for you.”

Panne blinked, slowly, immediately out of her depth and with no idea how to respond to that. It was a feeling that Emmeryn left her with often. Before she had met her, the idea of a human feeling so deeply for her and her people had been unthinkable, after she had been the one survivor of her warren, after they had taken everything from her…

But Emmeryn surprised her, at every turn. Had surprised her by surviving her seemingly destined death, and continued to surprise her every day…

“It’s less painful with you,” Panne replied honestly, because honesty was all she had to offer. “I didn’t mean for this to be a sad trip, however… I wanted to show you how beautiful this place is.”

She was worried that perhaps this  _ had _ been a mistake, for a different reason than she first thought— not because she couldn’t handle it (she was surprising herself with how well she  _ was _ handling it, actually) but because she hadn’t meant to make Emmeryn sad.

Her life had more than enough sadness in it…

“I’m… glad you brought me,” Emmeryn said, and smiled brightly.

Panne wrapped her arms around her and pulled her into a tight embrace. Emmeryn melted into it and the two simply stood there, the sweet breeze wrapping around them and making Panne’s ears flutter gently in the wind, for several long minutes.

No, it had not been a mistake. She wanted to share everything with Emmeryn, good and bad, and though she couldn’t remember it now, the sympathy Emmeryn had gifted her when she had saved her life had changed Panne’s forever…

She deserved every part of it.

Eventually she pulled away and, taking Emmeryn’s hand once more, led her further into the valley. 

Later that night, they would make camp here, and Emmeryn would ask her to share stories of her warren if she felt comfortable with it, and Panne would and it would hurt but it would make her feel better to remember her family and her people in the place they had once called home. The next day they would become their long journey either back to Ylisse or wherever else they chose to go, with no limit to where their freedom would lead them.

But for now, Panne would simply… bask in the warmth of Emmeryn’s smile.


End file.
